


Saudade

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, First things first this is a KLANCE fic so sorry Sheith shippers :c, Five Stages of Grief, Flower AU, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Happy Ending?, Heavy Angst, Illness, M/M, Mage!Allura, Mage!Paladins, Magic AU, Mild Abuse of Magical Powers, Regret, Sort of Modern AU too I guess, Unrequited Love, and it's a sad one at that, break ups, kind of soulmates au, life after death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 03:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7997332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(n.) a deep, nostalgic, and melancholic longing for something or someone, often accompanied with a denied fact that what one longs for will never come back.</p><p>Keith thinks he takes the news very well.  He continues to spend time with his boyfriend, he keeps up with his work, he doesn't even mind the replacement hanging around the water ward.  Life is fine and all is well.</p><p>Until the lies he tells himself start to fall apart when ocean blue flowers spill from his lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lance

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lilac petals and crimson stains](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7969477) by [VTrashyTrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VTrashyTrash/pseuds/VTrashyTrash). 



> I wanna start this off by saying, this Au is a fucking mess but its _my_ mess so I love it. I highly suggest you read the fic that inspired this one, but do it _after this chapter_. They're not that much alike, in all honesty, but they are linked together with a few crucial details and plot points. While the plot will by laid out by the end of this chapter, I don't want it prematurely spoiled for you. If you've already read it before.... sorry. Thems the breaks, sometimes.
> 
> Also, this fic won't be very happy at any point. Sorry about that too. I have two ending in mind for it, and I'm actually really torn on which I want. Without giving away any details, one would be happy and the other not-so-happy. Either way, this fic will be about 7 chapters long.

It really was a beautiful affair. Flowers of brilliant blues and whites were center-pieced, wrapped around Lance with careful consideration. Allura rose and spoke a few words for the lanky man, looking out on the gathered crowd of close friends and family. This was for them, in private for now. The public could see Lance later.

Keith took a shaky breath and stared hard at Lance's face, eyes closed like he was just sleeping. He fellow hollow and numb inside. He should be crying. Everyone around him was crying. Lance's parents, siblings, cousins- they all sobbed loudly and openly, grief written on their faces. Hunk was in tatters, heavy form shaking as tears leaked down his face. Pidge, as well, was crying with head down and fists drawn tight. Allura's eyes were damp and even Shiro had squeezed out a few tears, quickly wiped away by trembling fingers. So why couldn't Keith cry?

'It was his own fault.' Keith heard the whispers on the news a few days later, curled up in Shiro's arms as the older man slept. It was dark, just the blue shine of the tv to illuminate his small apartment. They circled around Lance's grave like vultures, showing the startling red flower that had already pushed it's way through the coffin and layers of dirt. It unfurled in the sun proudly. Keith despised that flower.

'But who was he in love with? Who wouldn't love a Guardian?' Another one whispered, a talk show this time while Keith got ready for work. The hosts babbled away on their celebrity gossip, on who had killed Lance McClain, on what dress was perfect for the humid summer hair. Keith left the tv on as he went to work, not having the energy to bother turning it off.

Who killed Lance McClain? Who killed Lance McClain?

The words haunted him during his drive to work, radio hosts echoing the question the whole world wanted to know the answer to. Keith swallowed the lump in his throat before turning it off. Riding in silence was better than having those words slapped in his face any longer.

Keith accepted the good morning peck on the cheek from Shiro when he arrived at work, as well as the raisin muffin and coffee his boyfriend had gotten him. He just hummed his good morning to Coran, waiting at the front desk. A flare of heat to his fingertips, magic warming the skin, and he was let into the sealed doors just past the mustached guard.

The hall was quiet, just his and Shiro's footsteps. Keith ate his muffin slowly but he barely tasted it. The coffee wasn't hot enough so he abused his innate magic to heat it to boiling again. He enjoyed how it scalded when it went own his throat.

"Ah! This is Keith Kogane, our Fire Mage, and Takashi Shirogane, our Shadow Mage." Allura's voice was chipper as they stepped through the doorway, and Keith paused just inside. Hunk was sitting to the side of the room, looking hurt. Pidge was standing with their back to them, hovering over a workstation. The young Air Mage was trying to look busy, but Keith could see how their hands shook and twitched, the tightness of their shoulders.

A young woman was standing before Allura, and she nodded to Keith and Shiro slightly. She was pudgy, short, with long brown hair neatly braided over her shoulder and round glasses. Keith didn't know her. He swallowed that lump forming in his throat again. Blue swam under her skin in places. Allura gave him a half pleading look before she continued.

"Keith, Shiro, this is Liah. Starting today, she will be our new Water Mage." Allura nodded to her again, then swept out of the room. Shiro's eyes followed her before he did, his lips pursed in a thin line and face deceptively impassive.

"It's nice to meet you." Her voice was deep for a woman's. Keith belatedly realized she had offered her hand. He took it and found her grip firm and cool against his own. "I'm sorry we couldn't have met under better circumstances."

Hunk flinched at that, but Liah either didn't notice or didn't care. She nodded to him again before pulling away, moving towards the door was glowing blue runes engraved on the stone. A tap of her fingers and it slid open. Then she was gone, off to her new workplace. Off to.... Keith wondered if anyone had bothered to move Lance's things out.

Keith tipped his coffee back at the thought, chugging it and trying to concentrate on how it now tasted like ash. Dropping the cup in the trash with a clatter he moved for his own ward. The stone was hot under his fingers, vibrant red runes dancing and pulsing with energy. He tapped into that power, channeled it, and the door slid open soundlessly. The whole thing took maybe a second or two. He went inside and ignored the choked back sob from Hunk behind him.

The lights flickered on instantly and Keith glanced around the room. His mind was racing, but he still approached one of the domed and brown walls. This area was a lot different than the rest of the facility he worked at. Everything else was cool steel with a refined sheen. Back here, the place where all the literal magic happened, was the same as it had been since the stone age. Since people tapped into the natural magic they had within them. It was all stone and dirt but most importantly it was runes.

Runes that glowed red with power, pressed into the walls by thousands of fingertips before him. A few were dulled and fading along the north wall of the large room, and Keith licked his lips as he made his way for it. Keith ran his finger over the delicate slope and arch of a faded out rune. It seeped and leeched at his own magic, using him as fuel to brighten back up. It only felt like a little pinch at this point. He was a Guardian after all. What would drain a normal fire user was only a drop in the bucket for him.

This process was repeated dozens of times for hours on end. Keith didn't stop relighting the runes one by one, moving from place to place to find where magic had waned. Morning became evening. When Keith finally paused long enough to look at his cell phone, he frowned at the time. An hour past quitting. Why hadn't Lance come to bother him like he always.....

Ice seized Keith's heart, but he pushed it away. He exited his lab, the antechamber dark. Only the glow of the runes on the doors was his light. Navy eyes locked onto the blue door across from his own and he paused. It felt like the door would open and _he_ would be there, laughing and smiling and teasing Keith like he always was after work.

Instead Keith took a shaky breath and made his way outside. Coran was still there and gave the fire mage a smile as he passed by. When Keith made it to his car, he sat there with his hands on the wheel. His knuckles were white. With great effort he pried himself off and started the car. Instantly his fingers twitched and flicked it to the radio, knob turning to that cheesy pop station that Keith hated. He winced, again, hating himself for doing something for _him_ when he wasn't around anymore.

The ride back to Keith's home was quiet. He didn't bother wasting time with dinner or a shower before bed. A sleeping pill, filched out of the spare meds Shiro kept at his place, was all it took for Keith to be out all night.

\------

Days passed in a hazy blur of motion, each bleeding into the next until Keith couldn't tell you if one thing happened Wednesday or Tuesday or maybe Thursday. He learned to not turn on the news, the radio, anything where people spoke. It was still too fresh and sudden even if close to two weeks had passed. The feeling that Lance might appear, might barge into his ward or demand a ride home from work never left. It left him anxious as his eyes followed shadows in the corner of his eyes, thinking they saw a flash of brown skin or blue eyes.

The weekend was the worst. Even with Shiro there, it all felt like he was just going through the motions. Small talk over a nice dinner his boyfriend had cooked, trading soft kisses on the couch, holding each other as they laid down at night- all of it felt unnatural. Keith knew he wasn't by himself with this. He could see the unease in Shiro's eyes when the older man thought Keith wasn't looking.

"We should go out." Shiro said, suddenly. It was much too late for that, and his voice carried as a whisper in the dark between them. Keith rolled over, facing the shadow mage. The sheets rustled around him and he could feel the soft puffs of Shiro's breath on his cheeks. His boyfriend's outline was just barely visible when he blinked open his eyes.

"What?" Ever the vision of eloquence, Keith winced at how scratchy his voice sounded as he croaked out his answer. He felt tense. He didn't want to go out. He wanted to stay at home, away from the pointing cameras and people who talked too much about celebrity gossip. Away from the people who wanted answers that Keith didn't have to give.

"Not tonight." Shiro added. The arm around Keith's waist tightened, pulling him closer. It was warm and comforting. "Just sometime. It'd be good for us." Keith was quiet, the air heavy between them. Keith wanted to tell him just how bad of an idea he thought that was. That hollow feeling from the funeral came back.

"Okay." Is what he said instead. Keith waited, but Shiro said nothing else on the matter. He didn't mention it the next day either over instant pancakes and coffee. He didn't mention it the rest of the weekend, and soon enough Keith was giving him one last kiss and seeing him off until tomorrow.

\------

_**Pidge:** lunch?_

Keith's phone beeping in his pocket broke him out of his meditative stupor at work that next day. Finishing up the rune he was repairing, he found it was Pidge texting him. The question should have been an easy answer. He liked spending time with his friends and workmates. It took much too long for him to answer with that in mind.

_**You:** yeah_

Ten minutes later Pidge and himself were piled into Hunk's rusty yellow jeep. It was nice as they drove, almost companionable. Dated pop music spilled from the speakers, overpowered by the three of them trading topics and making light conversation. They pulled into their regular spot, an authentic Philippine place. Something felt like it punched Keith in the gut, but he didn't let his easy smile falter even if it felt tight on his face.

They sat in the usual spot, greeted by the usual waitress who ordered their usual for them. No one looked at or mentioned the empty seat next to Hunk. It got quiet between the three of them as they ate. The food didn't seem as good as it had before and it just didn't seem as enjoyable in general.

Then again, most of the fun from this place had been Lance. Him sitting and chattering excitedly to the waitress in their native tongue, laughing loudly and explaining what every exotic sounding dish really was to them. Without him here it wasn't what it was before.

"Why do you think he didn't tell us?" Hunk was the one who broke the silence. His eyes were on the partition that separated them from another table, food untouched. Keith felt his grip tighten on his fork but continued to push his chicken around in the creamy sauce on his plate. It was something they had all been avoiding for weeks now. If you didn't talk about it, you didn't think about it. If you didn't think about it, then it couldn't be real.

Lance couldn't really be dead.

"He... he could have stopped it, right? Why didn't he just _say_ something?" When Pidge and Keith didn't answer, Hunk continued. He sounded almost frantic. Unshed tears were thick in his voice. "He didn't have to.... why didn't he just _tell us_?"

"That's just how petal sickness is, Hunk." Pidge was glaring at their water. "You know that."

Petal sickness. Keith thought back to the few weeks before Lance's death, how he had been acting. He had thought maybe the water mage was just being his usual self, and Lance had blamed him running off at random times and the bags under his eyes on the flu or allergies or anything else he could think to name. Right up until the end he had denied it. Keith didn't think he would ever get how the final stage of the disease looked out of his head. A beautiful, bright red rose that dripped with Lance's blood. Keith placed his fork down when it started to melt in his palm.

"No, it's not! All he had to do was tell him! If he had told him-" Hunk tried to continue. The large man's eyes were red rimmed and wetting in the corners. Keith cut him off, his own voice cold even to himself.

"We all know Lance was too prideful to say he loved someone who didn't love him back."

Hunk looked hurt, and Pidge had turned away from him. They paid, Keith leaving an extra large tip to pay for the ruined fork. The ride back to the facility was quiet and tense. Keith went back to his ward without a word. He threw himself into his work and didn't leave until well past midnight. He was the only one left in the darkened halls.

\------

Keith called in the next day. Allura said she understood, he just needed some time, it had been very hard on all of them. He didn't argue that he had said he had a cold, not that he was still mourning. The fire mage didn't think he was morning anymore. He had never cried and only felt bad some of the time. If you asked him, he was doing pretty well with all of this.

Which is why he laid in bed all day, the conversation from the previous day replaying over and over in his head. The ceiling of Keith's bedroom was imprinted behind his eyelids, his minding turning it over and over. It always came back to one thing: Lance. How everything had clicked into place and made so much sense when he had died.

Once, Keith remembered, he had caught the water mage in the act. Keith had needed to visit him in his lab, one of his own runes needing a backup charge of water magic to be given full power. Lance had been bent over his trash can, violently retching and coughing. Each breath sounded wet and harsh. That was a week before Lance passed, and when Keith approached the dark skinned man slammed a few papers on top of his vomit and stood up. He was pallid, and something red and soft clung to his lip. Lance wiped it away before Keith could get a good look at it.

Keith should have known right that second, but willful ignorance set in. For every person in the world blessed with magic, petal sickness was a real threat. As soon as you showed even the slightest amount of prowess it was drilled into your head to avoid it. What steps to take. The cure was so _easy_ , but only the person inflicted could cure themselves. Still, over half of those who got it ended up in the ground. Lance was now just another mage on the wrong side of a statistic, Guardian or not. Keith had expected him to know better.

"Hey Keith!" Lance smiled wide at him, forcing out a laugh that made his face twist in pain. Still, whatever was bothering the water mage seemed to just shake off. The blue of his magic coiled under his skin, gentle swirls that glowed faintly before fading into nothing. Keith felt his own magic thrum in response, red geometric shapes grooving into his skin for a few heartbeats. "You miss my beautiful face?"

"Why would anyone miss that?" Keith had replied, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Lance scoffed, feigning insult. They turned to comfortable banter after that, but Lance still followed him back to the flame ward. Together they traced the picky runes, fingers brushing occasionally and proximity so close that Keith could smell the spiced shampoo that Lance used.

Keith's mind hung up on that little exchange. Why would anyone miss that, indeed. Keith missed that. He missed not being able to go into the splash ward and getting Lance to help him. Even if they argued it was comfortable. Nice.

Jerking upwards in bed, Keith's stomach suddenly felt like he had drank molten iron. Iron that was coming up. The tangle of sheets left his legs and he staggered to the bathroom, barely making it in time before the heat shot past his lips. Eyes closed and on his knees, Keith gripped the toilet for dear life as what little he had eaten the day before splashed in the bowl. Something felt wrong, a pain that boiled in his chest. When the feeling passed he rested his cheek against the seat, too tired to care about how gross that really was.

After strength returned to Keith he sat up. He stilled, fingertips resting on the handle. He had glanced inside of the bowl but didn't find stomach acid and chunks of half digested food. Shaking, Keith whimpered and gripped the toilet again.

Beautiful ocean blue petals floated with the water and bile.


	2. Shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys want to be extra cheesy, when the moment comes that the music starts (and trust me, you'll KNOW when the music is called for) you could have [THIS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDLJ3pUZm9A) song on the ready or in mind. cause it's the one i meant/listened to while writing that particular scene.

If Keith was questioned about it, he felt like he could confidently say that he had always wanted Shiro. After finally being properly adopted when he was ten, it was the older Japanese boy who lived a few houses down the block that really made Keith feel welcome. While he loved his adopted parents now, back then there was a lot of confusion and distrust. It was Shiro who always managed to find him when he was upset and bugged out, who talked him through his issues, convinced him to give Mr. and Mrs. Kogane a chance, that they were nice people who only wanted the best for him.

When Keith was eleven he wanted to kiss Shiro so badly it hurt. It scared him. He was terrified barely a year later, waking up from his first confused fantasy about the other boy. Keith never breached on these feelings, since Shiro was older and was expected to start training at the Garrison soon. Shiro was one of the rare few blessed with Shadow magic, and as such was given a full ride at the best magical institution in the country. Shiro would never want a silly child whose own parents hadn't even wanted him, even if Keith were magical too.

Except, it turned out that Keith did have magic in him. Fire magic, one of the hardest magics to tame. It was with Shiro's urging that Keith thinks about the Garrison, that got him accepted to such a place in the first place. He was sixteen when he kissed his mother goodbye and promised his father he would call once a week. Shiro had greeted him when he got off the bus, eyes bright and smile wide. It was a shame, he would learn later, that the Garrison's way of teaching through forced control did not match up with Keith's brand of magic.

Flunking out did not stop Keith from being a prodigy. It did not stop Keith from being one of the most powerful fire mages in the world by the time he was nineteen. Even without a formal education to back him up, it was thanks to Shiro that he was offered a position as a Guardian when he was twenty-three. It was thanks to Shiro that Keith had a lot of things he was grateful for in his adult life. That included the flames of affection and attraction that hadn't died down since he was a preteen.

So, yes, Keith had always wanted Shiro. He had also always loved him. Every time he thought about the other man, his stomach did a little flip and he felt like he was melting inside. Not in a bad way, either, but in the most pleasant and sappy way, he could imagine.

Which is why it was so jarring to for Keith to accept that he had petal sickness.

Even as the fire mage watched the blue petals swirl in the toilet, he couldn't believe it. It had to have been a joke. Keith _loved_ Shiro. Even if they had only been dating for three months, they had known each other for almost fifteen years at this point. He felt disgusted with himself as if he had cheated on Shiro somehow. Then that feeling filtered out and panic settled cold and hard in his stomach.

Keith was going to die.

The realization hit Keith like a bus, and he ended up with his face shoved back in the toilet and puking for real. He had petal sickness. His magic was trying to slowly kill his own body because his inner turmoil of emotions was going haywire and causing this reaction. Or something. Honestly, he didn't know the exact science of it. All he knew was that he needed to cure himself and fast. Two Guardians dying in such a close timeframe would really weaken the barrier. If the barrier was weakened, then the Galra Empire would be able to launch their war machines on Altea and take them over like they had almost every other country on the planet.

Flushing the mess down, Keith stood and forced himself to focus on rinsing the taste of bile and perfume out of his mouth. His hands were so hot that the cold water hissed and steamed in protest before he could get it to his mouth. Cleaning his mouth did little to stop his racing mind. Who could he possibly have petal sickness for?

Except Keith knew, he knew in his heart of hearts even if he wanted to deny it. The fire mage had petal sickness for a dead man. If this wasn't a death sentence than nothing else was. You couldn't cure petal sickness if the person who caused it was dead.

That was the thing about petal sickness. It was such an easy cure but so many mages around the world died from it each year it was staggering. All you had to do was confess your feelings to the person who caused it. That's it. Petal sickness was caused by unrequited love. Lance had died because he couldn't' admit his feelings to someone.

' _You know who_.' Traitorous thoughts hissed through Keith's mind, voices he had pushed away since Lance had first died. Voices that hummed in the back of his mind constantly and begged for the attention they deserved. Keith focused on pushing those thoughts back back back where they went and he wouldn't have to deal with them.

Staggering back to bed, Keith let himself collapse face first into his pillows. Hugging one to his chest, the dark haired man curled his body around it. He told himself the beads of wetness falling down his cheeks was just residual steam.

\------

Keith didn't have much of an appetite. He pushed the spaghetti around his plate with his fork when Shiro wasn't looking to make it look like he was eating. The fire mage could feel then starting to tickle the back of his throat, the petals, like when you have a cough that just won't go away.

' _Stage One:_ Keith's mind repeated back to him, as it had for the last five hours at least. _After initial petal vomit, person's afflicted with this disease will feel constant tingling in throat for at least two weeks before Stage Two._ No amount of google searches had helped him, in the moments he could bare to do it. No one had any answers.

"Keith?" Starling, Keith dropped his fork with a clatter and jerked his head up to stare at Shiro. The older man was looking across the table at him with concern. Picking up his fork again, Keith slumped down and looked away. Shiro had come over today to cook for him since he wasn't feeling good, and here Keith was squandering all his hard work and worrying him.

"I'm fine." Keith lied, answering the unsaid question. Shiro didn't seem convinced, still frowning, but he didn't push the issue either. He knew how Keith got when he didn't want to talk. Dodgy and twitchy. Shiro was always patient with him even when Keith felt like he didn't deserve it or felt like he was being a child.

It was quiet again. Just the click of silverware or ice shifting in their drinks. A tension had settled in the air. Usually that alone was enough to break Keith. He would sing like a canary with whatever was bothering him. Today the words just couldn't leave him mouth. How do you tell your boyfriend, you _best_ friend, that you've got a terminal illness? You don't just blurt that out over spaghetti.

Even if Keith did, then it would lead to questions of _what_ he had and... it was just a whole lot of complicated feelings that Keith needed a lot of time to process and deal with. Time that the fire mage just didn't have right now.

"I was thinking of that fancy place on Main, next to work? For our date?" Shiro broke the silence, tentative as if Keith was a frightened animal that might run off or lash out. Sighing, Keith placed his fork down again before he melted it like he did the one in the restaurant. "I called and made reservations just in case you're okay with that? Saturday in three weeks sound okay? I would have done sooner, but it was already filled up...."

"That's okay." Keith lied again. Going out anywhere, especially on a date, was the last thing that the dark haired man wanted right now. Standing, he picked up his plate and took to the kitchen to rake this uneaten food in the trash. Shiro followed as he rinsed the dish off and placed it in the sink to wash later. The words were there again, right on the tip of his tongue. "I'm really tired. I think I'm going to turn in."

"Alright." Keith started to go to the living room but paused when Shiro made his way for him. The larger man gently wrapped his arms around him and pressed a soft kiss to Keith's lips. Sighing into it, the fire mage leaned into the chaste kiss and hummed a soft approval. Shiro pulled away just enough to trail his lips down to Keith's neck, where he peppered more easy kisses before pulling away. It made Keith feel warm inside, and for a minute he forgot all about petals and dying and just let himself be lost in the love radiating from Shiro's face.

"Love you." Offering his own smile, Keith cupped Shiro's cheek lightly before he made way for the living room again.

"Love you, too. I'll clean up the kitchen before I leave. Go get some sleep." Shiro went to the stove and Keith entered his room. All the warmth and love Keith had been feeling before was gone without Shiro's presence, and he laid down in bed in the dark. He didn't sleep like Shiro had asked him, but he pretended to be when his boyfriend came in to say goodbye and kiss his forehead. Keith didn't sleep all night and felt colder and colder as he lay there.

\------

Work wasn't easy. Being sleep deprived really addled the mind and made it hard to use magic, as it turned out. Pidge, who wore the bags under their eyes like badge of honor most days, asked him if he was sleeping okay or if someone had punched him. The bruises there must have been deep for Pidge to notice at all.

Keith could see the concern etched on his coworkers, his friends, faces. Even Liah stopped him in passing and asked if he was okay. He would always say he was fine, that he was still just a little sick. No one really looked at him like they believed it but at least they didn't press anymore than that.

If work wasn't easy, the nights were worse. Keith would lay in bed for hours staring at his ceiling, focusing on the tickling that was gradually getting worse and worse as the days dragged on. When he managed to sleep he would just startle awake a little bit later; men with sad smiles, ocean blue eyes, and blood soaked red flower crowns haunted his dreams. There was no peace for him.

The dark haired man's thoughts always came back to Lance somehow. No matter what Keith did, what Keith was doing, it was like Lance was now some drug he couldn't live without. The pieces of the dead man he focused on most were the last few months he was alive. How had Lance lived with this? This constant agonizing pressure.

The worst was that Keith was pretty sure he knew when Lance got the sickness, or at least was set up to have it. Petal sickness only lasted about two months. Lance had loved and hid it for at least two months, maybe longer. It happened in the splash ward, at work. Keith was positive that was when the other man had gotten it.

Lance's workspace was cluttered. Technically they weren't supposed to bring anything inside the wards, but everyone knew about Hunk's secret snack stash and Lance's junk pile. Shelves were lined with knickknacks and photos of friends and family. Keith honestly wasn't sure how Lance got anything done in there. Music, that same trashy station that Keith hated, was always pouring from a battery powered radio Lance had hanging up the corner.

Keith was there for rune help. It was a common enough occurrence to have runes triple or double charged by other magics that they were all in each other's wards a few times a week for it. Lance had been humming to himself in time with the music as he traced the rune patterns on the wall. His blue swirls, pretty and bright as his eyes, shone from under his skin as he worked. The water mage turned when he finished with what he was working on, smirking with an eyebrow raised.

"We _just_ had lunch, Mullet. I know I'm irresistible but please, save some for someone else." Lance wiggled his brow but walked over laughing to himself. Keith had rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation.

"Don't flatter yourself. I need rune help." Lance had pouted at Keith's dismissive tone. He sighed, made to follow him out, then the song on the radio ended and changed to some even cheesier song than it had been before. The worst kind of horrible pop song, because it was both from the 80s and some soft rock love ballad. That didn't stop Lance's eyes from lighting up and him gasping like he had just discovered God.

"I fucking love this song!" Lance was practically vibrating in place as he bounced over to Keith. The taller boy had grabbed Keith's hands before the fire mage had a chance to realize what was going on. "Dance with me!"

"What?" Keith spluttered. "Hell no!"

It was too late. Even as Keith protested, Lance had gotten a firmer grip and pulled him a little closer. The 'dance' was messy and uncoordinated, partially because Keith didn't want to dance and Lance didn't know how. It was really more of twirling around in a circle that wasn't even in time with the music. Since he was resisting, Keith's feet quickly got twisted up and he started to fall. Which, since Lance had a hold of him, dragged the water mage down on top of him.

It had all been okay because they were both laughing even if Keith's ass and elbows hurt from the landing. It took time for them to quiet back down. Lance looked ready to make some dumb comment but then had seized up with wide eyes. Keith had been under him, caged in by Lance's hands on either side of his head where the brown haired man had caught himself. Their faces were just a few inches apart. The chorus of that stupid song started and Keith saw bright red stain Lance's cheeks. At the time he had thought maybe he was just flushed from dancing. Now....

Lance had pulled himself off of Keith quick after that and hadn't been his usual self for the rest of the time helping him. He was still argumentative but it almost seemed like his heart wasn't in it. It was weird how hindsight gave you 20/20 vision.

It was a few days after that that Keith finally manned up and told Shiro how he felt. He had felt a tingling in his throat and worried maybe that petal sickness was catching up to him. It ended up just being allergies, but Keith was happy with the result anyway.

Lance had gotten petal sickness at least a week after that incident if the timeline of how the disease worked was correct. Then two months later he was gone. Keith had known he had had feelings for Shiro for years, even before he knew he had magic and he had never gotten it before.

It made uncomfortable questions bounce around in Keith's mind. If he had never gotten petal sickness before for Shiro, why did he get it now? Keith was positive he loved Shiro more than anyone but.... did he love Shiro the same way that Lance had loved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee, fable, how come your mom lets you have TWO fic updates in one day?!
> 
> so far there had been a lot of outcry here and on my [tumblr](http://ancientnapdragon.tumblr.com/) to give this a happy end. will i do it? we just don't know. maybe if you guys yell at me some more and give me the attention i crave i will. :3c
> 
> i'm working on a special klance oneshot for halloween, which has taken a lot of time! its a labor of love and involves regional gothic bullshit. i hope you guys like it when it comes out c:

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how heavy this is starting out, but I expect it to be a ride. I HOPE it is anyway. Things will only go down from here.
> 
> I have about 7 chapters for this fic planned out, like I said up top. Still, you guys should tell me if you want the happy ending or the not-so-happy. I have so many feelings, I'll probably end up posting up both but... which do you want first, I guess would be the better question.
> 
> I also haven't forgotten about Gold Dust, if you guys read that! I'll have an update for that either later tonight or tomorrow evening, depending on how much I can get done before I need to pass out in my bed.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy reading!


End file.
